I found myself locked in the bathroom of a restaurant, repeating over and over again
“Don’t do it.”
There was a brief moment of rationality, when you acknowledge that if you gain control in that moment, then you’ll feel like you lose control of your life.
It’s one of the most (self) vulnerable feelings, in my opinion. Having no control during the binge, and needing to have complete control after the fact – but trusting yourself enough to just let it pass, let it go.
Sometimes there’s no way up, but tonight I walked out of the bathroom.