This is 32

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My birthday was a couple of days ago… and I thought I was long passed this, but apparently not. I was going to “LOL” but it was incredibly sarcastic, and that does not always translate well via written word.

this

“long passed this

This. mental… rollercoaster… breakdown… depression… just all encompassing pit.

This. feeling like I’m drowning above water… screaming but no-one can hear me…

apparently not.

I think that’s one of the major reasons why I don’t generally celebrate my birthday? I know it’s supposed to be a time to celebrate your life but it’s not like that for me. I cannot remember a birthday where I truly felt I deserved to celebrate. I’m so behind on life, what is there to celebrate?

With my belief and practice of the law of attraction, these feelings are not what I want to put out into the universe but there’s a depression in me that sometimes I cannot keep at bay.

This specific thought crosses my mind throughout the days of the year – but it certainly becomes a cloud on December 6 of every year:

You don’t belong.

I don’t feel like there is a place for me. I don’t feel like I have a purpose.

 

 

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