I received a comment from someone who said they enjoyed my debt free journey and I had to come to a truth that I had secretly been hiding.
I think I’m a fraud.
I feel like a fraud.
Christmas – dragged me through the mud. I had not budgeted anything for presents, and although I had this strong desire to keep everyones gifts as … frugal … as I could – I found myself splurging.
Not only on their presents, but on stuff for myself.
All those months of telling myself I didn’t “need” anything, which was true and still is true, eventually came undone with this desire for immediate gratification. I saw something I wanted, I bought it. I’m honestly, ashamed to say I don’t know how much I spent in December.
Wanna know what’s worst?
It snowballed into January too. I am finding myself giving in to whims – both on material items but also take out.
If I were to take a guess – I’ve spent probably about $2,000 – 3,000!
Elaine, I cannot thank you enough for your comment. I need to reel myself in and stop hiding behind my own materialism and consumerism that I have tried so hard to rationalize.
I just logged onto Credit Karma – Transunion increased my credit score by almost 20 points from the usage of my credit cards. Insane.
So here’s a breakdown – I will still keep up with my monthly updates – which is scheduled for next week, but I will do a better job at transparency.
Total debt (per Credit Karma on Jan 8): $56,123 – Ry’s car = $44,671
Total debt (per Credit Karma on Aug 10): $62,312 – Ry’s car = $49,709
Total debt pay off get’s brought down to = $5,038.
(Note, accounts on Credit Karma don’t update as regularly as they should lol.)